This is not the man I hoped to be.

by :
Jimmy Jacobs
This is not the man I hoped to be.
This is the man I am, and now I embrace it, for better or worse. Kevin, Steve, and I have been labeled a lot of things- troublemakers, misunderstood, bad for business, evil. What we are is honest.
I lied to myself. I lied to myself for the 2 years I was banished from Ring Of Honor, and I lied to myself for almost a year after my return. I said I could be a better person, I didn't have to live how I was living, I could redeem myself, there was something better out there to fulfill me. I spouted these lies to anybody that would listen including the man I sponsored, Steve Corino. Together, we fueled each others' fairy tale pipe dreams of who we thought we could be, all the while, deep down knowing who we really were. But in NYC at 10thAnniversary, I was honest with myself for the first time in a long time when I stabbed Kevin Steen in the face with my spike, feeling like I finally released an orgasm after 3 years of celibacy. From that moment on, I was done lying. I was ready to LivE.
As a libertine, I feel good, I feel alive, unrestricted by the rules and norms set forth by Ring Of Honor. I get to act how I want, not worrying about impressing anybody. I am free and it's fun. And no moment has been more fun, no time have I felt so alive than on May 12, 2012 in Toronto, Ontario as I watched Kevin Steen defeat Davey Richards for the ROH World Title. They call Kevin “the most unlikely champion in ROH history”, but that's just them lying to themselves. Let's be honest. We all knew it was coming. We all felt the anticipation. We all felt the shift in the air. Nobody wanted to say it, but everybody knew it. Yet it still felt so sweet and so vindicating, watching an honest man who always spoke his mind, did what he wanted, wrestled on his own terms, never caved in... a man they forced out, tried to shun, tried to erase from history... a man I'm lucky enough to call my friend, Kevin Steen, win the ROH World Title, despite it all and because of it all. Then the moment to top it all off, Steve Corino came back home. The three of us hugging, celebrating, living the moment as a family of outcasts they wanted dead, but couldn't be killed, now on top of the world.
I keep saying “they”. “They call Kevin” and “they wanted dead”. What I really mean is “him”. And by him, I mean Jim. Jim Cornette has had his vision of Ring Of Honor since they day he became Executive Producer here. A vision that does not include Kevin Steen, Jimmy Jacobs, or Steve Corino. A ridiculous vision built on honest men with good physiques, proper manners and the ability to say “Yes” to anything you want or say. Jim is the biggest liar of them all. He actually believes his lies. He believes in people like Davey, Eddie, and Lethal when all he has to do is open his eyes to reality to see that they are not the best. All he has to do is see the electricity that was in the air when Kevin won the ROH World title, to know honesty. All he has to do is see how the people have turned on Davey Richards. How appropriate that it was Davey who lost the title to Kevin; everything Jim loves losing to everything he hates.
Desperate men do desperate things. This Sunday in NYC Steen/Richards II: No DQ. Jim Cornette rolled his eyes at and watched in disgust in 2010 as El Generico and Kevin Steen brutalized each other in No DQ bouts. Now he's forced to watch once again, this time in desperation, as he hopes his lies overcome the truth, his vision overcomes reality, his dishonesty overcomes the fact. You can lie to us and say that Davey is going to beat Kevin Steen for the ROH World Title, but don't lie to yourself. Deep down you know we won't be stopped now.
But what you don't know, you'll have to wait until Sunday to find out. It's the beginning. The liars will all come clean. Honor dies. And we LIVE.
The Zombie Princess